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I'll tell him that I love him by *sucubusbriarrose:iconsucubusbriarrose:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Other Romance > Fixed




I will tell him
How beautiful his eyes are
I will tell him
How much I love his hair
I will tell him
That I am happy
I will tell him
I hope he’s always there.

I will show him
What he means to me
I will show him
All my little quirks
I will show him
Everything I am
I will show him
How my heart works.

I will tell him
What he means to me
I will tell him
What I’m thinking
I will tell him
What pleases me
I will tell him
If I’m sinking.

I will ask him
What he wants of me
I will ask him
For little things
I will ask him
to pick me up
I will ask him
To complete my dreams.

I will tell him
That I mean it
I will tell him
That he makes me warm
I will tell him
That I want him
I will tell him
That I mean him no harm.

And when we are laying
Alone in bed,
Side by side,
Beneath the covers and the sheets,
I will tell him:
“You make me complete.”
©2005-2010 *sucubusbriarrose
:iconsucubusbriarrose:

Author's Comments

we had a poetry slam at my highschool and the guest speaker did a poem that went on and on about what he would tell his daughter..."i'll teach her to cuss like a sailor" it made me cry and at the same time during the poem, while he was sharing it with us this poem started in my mind. its of no particular person just my thoughts my feelings the way i am. how i will be what i will do what i have planned. everything i want to be to him.

And in CASE anyone is wondering it's quite OBVIOUSLY not my picture, seeing as how that is a famous Tolousse LaTrec painting "In Bed The Kiss" 1892

Comments


love 5 5 joy 4 4 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 3 3 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconkyrandos:
~Kyrandos May 19, 2005, 8:13:43 PM
Wow. This is an excellent picture. Probably the best kiss I've ever seen on paper :) You've done an ASTOUNDING job here

--
Twitching, shambling
:iconsilverknight:
~silverknight May 19, 2005, 8:14:01 PM
I like this. Very beautiful illustration...reminds me of how it feels when I'm with the one I love. Warm, safe, and content. At peace. And the poem is very good. Heartfelt and sincere. Excellent work. *sighs and misses his wife*

--
"Embrace the darkness. All the better to learn how to fight it..."

"There are many ways to gain immortality. And all of them will cost your immortal soul..."
:iconscanlon:
~Scanlon May 19, 2005, 8:16:58 PM
I love love love love love this poem. The ending is perfect. It gets a bit monotonous through the middle, but still lovely. The one line I dislike is "I'll tell him if I'm sinking." - it takes the poem from reality into imagery (wow. totally lost the word there) That line is the only deviant from teh rest of the poems reality.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, tell me and I'll find my word again....

I love the title.
I like the structure. I've written a couple structured pieces and people didn't like them as well. This works though.
:iconsucubusbriarrose:
*sucubusbriarrose May 19, 2005, 8:25:45 PM
thank you very much. why do you miss her?
:iconsucubusbriarrose:
*sucubusbriarrose May 19, 2005, 8:28:30 PM
thanks alot. the line i'll tel him if im sinking is the one part that actually pertains to the guy im seeing right now. i'm worried that i might fall in the scheme of things because to make this relationship work we have to work together and work hard. thanks alot for the comment i love comments.
:iconfallen-princess:
~fallen-princess May 20, 2005, 2:52:18 AM
the repetition is really effective here, i can really relate to it - all these plans of what you want to be and how you want to be when you're with the person you want to be with forever. the picture suits it perfectly too. and the ending's great, its so simple but conveys so much depth and meaning :D nicely done my dear!

--
...and if i'm not back in 5 minutes...wait longer!

"We shall bring the beauty of erotic poetry to the masses" :D
:iconsucubusbriarrose:
*sucubusbriarrose May 20, 2005, 7:17:44 AM
thank you so much i think thats the most positive comment i've had that has any substance to it. :hug:
:iconfallen-princess:
~fallen-princess May 20, 2005, 7:10:40 PM
good to hear :)

--
...and if i'm not back in 5 minutes...wait longer!

"We shall bring the beauty of erotic poetry to the masses" :D
:iconsilverknight:
~silverknight May 20, 2005, 9:44:54 PM
because we cannot be together right now...

--
"Embrace the darkness. All the better to learn how to fight it..."

"There are many ways to gain immortality. And all of them will cost your immortal soul..."
:iconglistening:
~Glistening May 23, 2005, 7:48:35 AM
Final part ..I luv it.
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